Last night I was a bad ass cop, the kind they had in cheesy TV shows in the late 80s. I think I even had big hair. I was the main character, the one who always caught the bad guy, and the rest of the cops were angry and jealous. They didn’t like me.
My partner and I were driving around, making too-accurate jokes about each others sexual abilities, when we got a radio call reporting some disturbance at a nightclub. There was a flash of noise and light, and we were there. It was a two story green Chinese monstrosity, foo dogs out front and a lacquered red arch with the club’s name, which I couldn’t read. There were big picture windows along the side, and some were broken. People in shiny, too tight clothes stood outside, and it must have just rained, red and blue neon reflecting in puddles on the pavement.
Other cops were arriving by then, and we tried to get the people to back up. Some of them were hurt, holding their sides or arms, and all had a shocked expression as they stared at the building. There was a loud crash behind me, and I turned to find a kappa, a Japanese water spirit, but it had a bull’s head instead of a man’s. It sneered at me with its thick bull lips somehow, eyes sunken beneath a low brow. And then it vanished.
It reappeared a moment later in the crowd, charging into people as they screamed. It was terrifying as it made these deep, animal grunts, and everyone scattered as the kappa continued to teleport around. There was a small strip mall next to the club, and my partner and I ran into it. He started running down the aisles grabbing cans of deodorant. My partner was babbling how it wouldn’t be able to find us if it couldn’t smell us, and began spraying deodorant everywhere, a can in each hand. He sprayed me in the face. It didn’t hurt but I couldn’t see, rubbing my eyes and catches brief flashes of chaos and flickering lights and screams. When I was able to open my eyes, the kappa stood over me.
Last night’s dream involved ghosts kneeling beside my bed, chewing on bloody flesh while they watched me sleep. I woke up terrified to open my eyes, and grinding my teeth so hard my jaw still hurts.
The night before last I dreamed that I went to go see the new Twilight movie. I have never read the books or seen the movies, and all I know about it is from friends who like it and websites making fun of it.
I sat in the theater, surrounded by dark silhouettes of people without faces, watching as the vampires slowly bit chunks out of Kristen Stewart’s head. They kept nibbling away, her skull slowly collapsing into itself and warping her face as she mumbled through her lines. No one mentions or made any reference to this in the movie, and when I started screaming to the other people in the theater that this was seriously fucked up, the actors on screen turned and looked at me.
I was very, very glad to wake up.
In last night’s dream, I was a serving wench in a large medieval castle (this is no doubt due to @heapfrag’s suggestion right before bed that we go to Medieval Times sometime. I have never been). It was night time, and we all stretched out giant feather mattress and thick quilts along the hallways, since that is where the servant slept. I was almost asleep when I felt a weight on my cover. I wrestled something about the size of a large cat, trapping it with one hand behind its head and the other between its shoulder blades. It had the body and neck of a iguana but a human face. Once I pinned it, the monster looked up at me and hissed, showing hundreds of tiny sharp teeth. My mother sat up in the space next to me, presumably also a servant in the castle, and helped me hold it down while telling me I had to twist its head around until it popped off. I grabbed the thing and began yanking on its head, while it whimpered and begged me not to in the saddest voice I’ve ever heard.
I woke up convinced this was really happening, as somehow the covers had all migrated to my side of the bed so there really was a weight on my blanket.
Last night I had a dream that one of the air purifiers came to life and attacked me. It was possessed by a demon, complete with red light shining from the vents and bat noises as it swooped around my head. Exactly like a cheesy 80s horror movie. I actually woke up terrified. It wasn’t the only nightmare I had last night, but it was the clearest.
I wonder what my subconscious is trying to tell me.