The night before last I dreamed that I went to go see the new Twilight movie. I have never read the books or seen the movies, and all I know about it is from friends who like it and websites making fun of it.
I sat in the theater, surrounded by dark silhouettes of people without faces, watching as the vampires slowly bit chunks out of Kristen Stewart’s head. They kept nibbling away, her skull slowly collapsing into itself and warping her face as she mumbled through her lines. No one mentions or made any reference to this in the movie, and when I started screaming to the other people in the theater that this was seriously fucked up, the actors on screen turned and looked at me.
I was very, very glad to wake up.