Last night I saw my first urban coyote. He was in the parking lot of Binny’s near Clyborn and he slunk off into the alley before I could get a good picture.
Today on our way back from CVS, there were four ornamental birds on the sidewalk. Three were squashed, like someone had dropped their cage and stepped on them. One might have still been alive.
Last night I had a dream that one of the air purifiers came to life and attacked me. It was possessed by a demon, complete with red light shining from the vents and bat noises as it swooped around my head. Exactly like a cheesy 80s horror movie. I actually woke up terrified. It wasn’t the only nightmare I had last night, but it was the clearest.
I wonder what my subconscious is trying to tell me.
Btw, @heapfrag & I do not currently have Internet at home, so email/call/text is the best way to get a hold of us. #hellochicago
@heapfrag - hit it.
Only 15 more days until I can no longer sing as I work. I don’t think @heapfrag would appreciate the soundtrack during a conference call.
Let the plotting commence.
If I did draw an autobiographical comic, I’m sure every time I found a spider in the house it would turn into an epic battle fantasy sequence, a la Calvin and Hobbes. Sometimes the arachnids would grow to epic proportions and terrorize everyone until I brought them down with a rocket launcher, other times they would remain tiny yet remarkably crafty. And of course there would be a highly detailed resurrection scene, where all the spiders I have ever killed rose up for revenge.
I think I just creeped myself out.
Okay, gather close, I’m going to tell you all a secret.
Are you ready? Here it is…
If you ask someone to do something for you, for free, they’re the ones doing you a favour and you should do everything you can to thank them rather than bossing them around and telling them to shut up if they don’t like it.
Didn’t think that was a secret, but it turns out I was wrong.
Ah, St. Louis. You tempt me outside with a gentle wind, mild temperatures and fluffy white clouds. You act like the heat wave never happened, like it’s been this beautiful all summer.
And then you try to kill me with allergens. Bitch.
I believe this year I may upgrade from my kitty hat to a werewolf hat. The first bitch to ask me if I like Twilight when I wear it gets cut.
I am aware this means someone will get cut.
Gonads and strife, motherfuckers.
1. Walk in door. Set down bags.
2. Squeal and welcome cats in obnoxious baby voice.
3. Grab and hug cats, despite their obvious desire that you do not do so.
5. Continue to coo at cats, until spying the multiple hairballs on the carpet.
6. Clean carpet, muttering under breath and glaring at cats while doing so.
7. Relax on couch and cuddle cats on lap, all memory of hairballs erased by the sound of purring.
The narrative flow of this list has me envisioning you standing in your living room holding your cats while urine runs down your leg. Thus, I find no problem with this list.
I drove by lollapalooza.
If this is any indication of how stressful the actual move is going to be, we’re gonna need a hell of a lot more beer.
In roughly one month, I’ll call a new city home.
Sharing b/c I have the emotional maturity of a 12 yo boy & aesthetic sensibility of an art school graduate: beautifulswearwords.com
Yay! Now I can post while mobile. Many embarrassing, drunken posts await me!
I’m in this Hand Picked Member Collection on ArtFire.com http://bit.ly/k7JQIu #linocuts
Oh. My. God.
I want…no, need….this.